the sweet summer of 1992

i bought my ticket home to dallas on march 8 - have i ever been so excited?? why do i like it in dallas so much? how can i change so quickly and drastically over a matter of years, and is it me changing or the circumstances around me? two years ago i would have been disgusted to even think of moving to texas. now, it feels like home. i was saying to amy the other night - there's something special about being in the middle of the country, in its...chest? she said, "nestled in?" and YES that was exactly what i meant. you feel home. like you'd imagine people on the frontier would feel when they were out hunting for days and then come over the last hill and saw their log cabin or whateverthefuck down on the plain below. the same sort of phenomenological feeling that we used to get at falk school, sitting up on the monkey bars that almost jutted out over falk hill. you could look over the whole medical complex and universities and parks, with the appalachian hills spreading out around it like a flower, but a green flower. all these circumstances share a basic set of visual and tactile similarities... its like they all boil down to the same feelings about what you're looking down into. in dallas it's the future, on the frontier it's your house, and at falk it was your whole life - mom's over there in the cathedral, dad's over at the hospital...
it's damn hard to explain... it has to do with the plains. i hate to throw the word 'mythology' around because it sounds so corny but it is a kind of phenomenological mythology that you develop as you grow, and as you move around the country. each major spatial experience is woven into this unconcious 'story' behind your mind about what land looks like and what kind of land feels right. maybe it's american? we're so obsessed with our land.

this weekend was kind of a let down, but its okay. theres been too much going on around here to keep the momentum going for any longer. we needed a few relaxing days. tonight lampoon is doing some kind of fundraiser thing so i guess id better head over to that... amy and justin and i went shopping at the cross county today and i got a dress and some awesome wrapping paper for my walls and some other stuff. it was cold today. the snow is half melted and frozen over.