heimdalsgate

ahh, there's nothing like a cold beer after a stressful day. haa.
i'm so into the new of montreal album. "i spent the winter on the verge of a nervous breakdown while living in norway/i felt the darkness of the black metal bands/but being such a fawn of a man i didn't burn down any old churches/just slept way too much"
hah! these lyrics could describe my last yr - except replace norway with denmark. or germany. i was so happy and so sad at the same time. especially in denmark. in berlin i was just sort of bitter. although i had the best time ever.

anyways, things are weird/good here. subverting all my exiety into hypochondria. or is it? ah, that's why it's so hard. anyways today was good. amy txted at 11.30, waking me up from a bizarre 'quest' dream. in it, i was travelling to get to my family, in a car, through the midwest. i was stopped somewhere, some new urbanist town, trying to find my hotel room. i put all my things in a random room and went in search of the main building to get a key. everywhere there were people, families, enjoying refreshments at these little new-urbanist kiosks. like pretzels and beer and stuff. the hotel was broken up into several small buildings, each was this strangely small fachwerkhause. when i came out of the lobby it was pouring, and i had to run as fast as i could to my room. but i was also being chased by something. i think it had a lot to do with the hotel i had to stay at in ft. lauderdale when my flight to phila got cancelled over spring break. did i ever write about it?
i was rerouted from atlanta to ft. lauderdale, and had to take a 45 dollar cab ride to this tiny hotel, where i had to pay in cash...then, five hours later, i got back in a shuttle and drove back to the airport. and they had lost my baggage so i had nothing but the clothes on my back, and three books. anyways we drove back to the airport in the dark morning, and past all the big 80-story art deco hotels on the shore. they all had these palm-tree-edged grass lawns in their front yards - and in front of one, someone had just flipped their car upside down. the police weren't there yet, and the body was laying right next to the upside down car door, covered by a blanket. it was something out of a david lynch film. well that was my first dead body ever. then we passed the ambulance going in the opposite direction. anyways i think that's what my dream had to do with. it went on forever, it seemed like. so then we went to brunch, and amy's friend from home lily was there, she was so cool.

sarah s. called me during brunch and said she was having a photoshop 911, so i went over there for a while to help, then came home and cleaned cuz my mom is coming tomorrow and i assume i'll show her my room? then sarah borrowed kate wood's car and i went with her to CVS. it was nice.

since then i've been researching grad schools. my mom is flying in from dallas tomorrow and we're driving up to ithaca. i'm more nervous about this open house than columbia's. this one i know much less what to expect.

the phantom of undone work is haunting me right now...a month left and i haven't written any more of my thesis since january. should i even admit that? yikes.