anyways, yesterday night started out great, perfect - we hung out in jarett's room and then we went to anna/caitlyn's party, which was really great - they opened up both their rooms and filled the bathtub with ice and drinks. they even had snacks - you're lucky if you even see some cut up limes at most parties at slc. luxurious! anyways it was really fun. unfortch later i slapped justin for saying something really meanspirited, so then of course we spent the rest of the night fighting. this same fight keeps happening over and over. but last night it was truly inimical. how embarassing. but really. i'm tired of him being able to push, hit, insult, and generally harass people when he drinks, and then when he provokes me i get in huge trouble. anyways i feel so embrassed about what happened, but listen to the advice annicka just gave me, which is brilliant:
but people get butt ass wasted and make asses out of themselves ALL THE TIME. youre just another one of them. people actually dont even give a shit or remember, theyre just worrying aobut whether theyll get laid that night
anyways after anna's we went over to the slonim 4 party and that was okay. i will go out on a limb here and say that i drank too much last night. but hey, when else am i going to act like a fool?
i found out that my friend leah from berlin is moving to ny! YES! she is the most wonderful person. she is that classic type of european (shes a dane) that's all business on the outside and hilariously neurotic on the inside. she is so smart...she goes to oberlin for art history but she's considering med school. badass! anyways if i don't get university housing we're going to live together. i'm really hoping that she'll paint our apartment white. tired cliche anyone? but it's true.
another really exciting thing that i found out today is that the entire dollaghan clan is renting two houses in rhode island for a week this summer. YES!!! every summer since i was a baby we used to all go to rhode island - in 1991 we even had to evacuate for hurricane bob!!! i think we go to rhode island because that's where grandma's parents settled when they came over from sweden. i think her uncles built a bunch of houses on narraganset. anyways we haven't gone since i was in elementary school and now ITS HAPPENING! BOOYAH! every time the dollaghan family gets together it is a nonstop laugh riot. they are all the funniest coolest people and i've always been pissed that i'm not more like them. for starters annicka and i are the only ones out of 12 cousins and seven aunts and uncles with dark hair. WTF? ive always been resentful of this fact. i don't know why, i mean i like my hair. it guess i made into a symbol of how i wish we were closer to colorado and all of them. i mean we're very close, it's just that they all live in the same city and so they get to see each other more than twice a year.
in other news my work has come to a standstill because of my ocd about loosing my skills. like my whole life, with every thing i've been moderately good at, after a little while i loose interest or i just can't do it anymore. it happened with swimming, painting, writing...and now i'm terrified it's gonna happen with this stuff. so i'm convinced that if i do my best on my conference projects i won't be able to do well next year in grad school. so yeah. just a little glimpse into the insane logic of my constantly terror-stricken mind.
will it ever stop raining?
